Refuge

refuge - a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble. For the last 31 days, this "airplane bed" has served as a sacred space for us. It has been a place to hide. To rest. To laugh and cry. To play. To pray. Up and down, this bed has traveled with [...]

Day +13

Wednesday, December 13th: Ryan was Day +13 post-transplant. Sharon's cells were beginning to engraft, but it felt more cruel than celebratory. Ryan was in the ICU with multisystem organ failure. His entire body had grown edematous, as his liver enzymes escalated out of control.  Dialysis would begin in the afternoon. By evening, intubation was required [...]

Love

Day +11.  Geoffrey said these words, "I am not going to get better," as tears streamed down his little face. My reply, as tears flooded down mine: "Pole Geoffrey, but you are going to get better. Geoffrey, I love you so much." Over the past few days, I have said these words on repeat. In moments [...]

Unlearning

Day +6. Our sweet Geoffrey, to this point, has done well. I say that fully aware, at this early stage post-transplant, it is complex medical care and the grace of God that is sustaining Geoffrey's life. Sharon's cells are still finding their way around. They need time to grow and to find their home. We [...]

Two!

Ryan turns 2 today! I cannot begin to describe the love that fills our hearts for this sweet little boy. His life is a miracle and an indescribable gift to our family and to the world. I pray this coming year will be filled with much healing and joy! May there be endless play and [...]

Making space – part 2

There are so many things to love about Geoffrey. I am only beginning to discover them all. Shortly after receiving his sickle cell diagnosis, he was terribly sick and I was holding his little body in a waiting room in Eldoret. I kissed his cheek, and with no hesitation, he lifted his head to kiss [...]

Gifts

This journey of transplant has made space for gratitude to grow within me. It has allowed an awareness of the seemingly “ordinary” gifts that I never needed to take notice of before. It has caused me to slow down and ponder many things. While I have questions without answers and a whole mixture of emotions [...]

A kind of love

"Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply." - Henri Nouwen The 61 days Ryan lived at UCLA Children's Hospital were permeated with love. A kind of love that never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. A kind of love that far exceeds my comprehension or ability, all the [...]

When healing takes time

There is a paper chain that hangs in Ryan's room which is growing by one link everyday. As of today, it has been 50 days since Ryan entered the hospital doors on an early Monday morning. The sun had yet to rise when we arrived in Westwood with our little boy, and the words resonating [...]