Much to hold

I slept on my comfortable couch next to Geoffrey last night. We are in a new room to us with many windows and a courtyard view. We are quickly running out of rooms on the hem-onc floor that have not been a temporary home for one of our three kids. I am not convinced that [...]

G is for… [Happy Birthday]

"It's my happy birthday!" These words, with great delight, are about to be spoken numerous times today by our dearly loved little boy, Geoffrey. We don't know exactly when Geoffrey was born or how old he is, but this is the date that was created when a birth certificate was being made, July 10, 2014. [...]

Planning

By nature and by habit, I am a planner. I like to be organized, have things well thought through and coordinated. I pay attention to details. Procrastination makes me antsy. I like to follow rules. Most of the time this is a strength, but this season has not left room, physically or emotionally, to get [...]

The Dark

"To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight, and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings." - Wendell Berry New life starts in the dark. I read these words Saturday morning (6/16). Before the fever. Before another trip to the ER. Before "code sepsis" would be announced in reference to my child. Before another admission [...]

Slow work of God

50 days in. Day +39 post transplant. God willing, Geoffrey will get to come home to Mama Micah's tomorrow. At this point, this is where he knows home to be. For 50 days, with very little exception, he has remained within the confines of four walls. There is a window to show him when it [...]

Refuge

refuge - a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble. For the last 31 days, this "airplane bed" has served as a sacred space for us. It has been a place to hide. To rest. To laugh and cry. To play. To pray. Up and down, this bed has traveled with [...]

Day +13

Wednesday, December 13th: Ryan was Day +13 post-transplant. Sharon's cells were beginning to engraft, but it felt more cruel than celebratory. Ryan was in the ICU with multisystem organ failure. His entire body had grown edematous, as his liver enzymes escalated out of control.  Dialysis would begin in the afternoon. By evening, intubation was required [...]