Goodness of God

This weekend Ryan had a crazy infection in his right toe. It was puzzling as it developed so quickly and seemed to be severe. I sent a photo on Saturday evening to our pediatrician in Eldoret. She wrote back that she was consulting with a surgeon and infectious doctor to see what we should do [...]

40

Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.- Mary Oliver I get to turn 40 in a few days. I am not completely sure how I feel about the number, but I am so thankful for the life I am getting to live, for my family and the global community I [...]

Remembering what is real

Ryan's play this morning involved him listening to my heart with a stethoscope. He clearly knows what to do with a blood pressure cuff and pulse oximeter. He fears going anywhere near a lab. Needles have been a routine part of his life since he was six months old. Geoffrey talks about "missing his doctors." [...]

Mama and child

She stood in the garden outside of Kimbilio Hospice. Her 30 year old son, hardly conscious, was reclining in a wheelchair. Brain cancer was doing its best to take his life. They were surrounded by the sounds of singing as other patients and staff of the hospice gathered for “church.”  They were singing praise songs [...]

Home

Eight children spontaneously filled our home for breakfast on Sunday morning. Sharon, Alice, Vivian and Isaiah had asked for permission to leave their boarding school for the morning to come by and play with their other siblings. Our house was loud and overflowing with life, and brothers and sisters sat side by side. There was [...]

The space between us – part 2

A 33 year old mama is lying outside on a mattress, under the shade of the vibrant colors displayed from the bougainvillea above. A broken mirror placed beside her. She picks it up often, checking to see if the dressing covering her face is still in place. To say her tumor is large and disfiguring [...]

Space Between Us – Part 1

In the words of John O'Donohue, "it would be infinitely lonely to live in a world without blessing. The word blessing evokes a sense of warmth and protection; it suggests that no life is alone or unreachable." As I slide back into living life and doing work in our beloved home in Kenya, I am [...]

Coming home

"What are you thankful for?" This question makes up the lyrics of a delightful song my children love to sing. On the day we returned to Kenya, the melody as well as the question would not leave my head. We sang it as we finished packing and drove away from a home that welcomed us [...]

1 year ago- Moving to the ICU

Ryan has become a bit of an acrobat these days. He woke up this morning at 3 AM and propelled himself with a front flip out of his pack 'n' play then proceeded to turn on the lights. He was very proud of himself. While Ryan's speech is still limited, he masterfully said: "light!" We [...]

Dark Sunday

A year ago, I woke up to the news that Ryan was terribly sick. His liver was failing from complications of the chemotherapy. This was causing his kidneys to also fail. He was struggling for every single breath. To complicate things further, he had infection and no immune system to fight it. There was an [...]