This journey of transplant has made space for gratitude to grow within me. It has allowed an awareness of the seemingly “ordinary” gifts that I never needed to take notice of before. It has caused me to slow down and ponder many things. While I have questions without answers and a whole mixture of emotions [...]

A kind of love

"Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply." - Henri Nouwen The 61 days Ryan lived at UCLA Children's Hospital were permeated with love. A kind of love that never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. A kind of love that far exceeds my comprehension or ability, all the [...]

When healing takes time

There is a paper chain that hangs in Ryan's room which is growing by one link everyday. As of today, it has been 50 days since Ryan entered the hospital doors on an early Monday morning. The sun had yet to rise when we arrived in Westwood with our little boy, and the words resonating [...]


It is Day +33 since Ryan's transplant, 43 days since we moved into UCLA. While it is probably not a good thing to recognize so many doctors and nurses from various departments as I walk throughout the hospital, I also realize these faces represent the journey that, while long and hard, is so significant to [...]


"Yet I have learned that Advent is a season custom-made for experiencing how Christ meets us in the places that are most shadowed, most hopeless, most uncertain, most fearful. The trappings that have become associated with this season can make it difficult for us to see this. Yet beyond and beneath those trappings is the [...]

Don’t get ahead of God

Don't get ahead of God. Stay present to the moment before you.  I have needed these words this week, over and over again. A reminder to breathe, to not jump too far ahead, or to get swallowed up in fear. This morning, as I listened to this beautiful podcast by Krista Tippett where she was  [...]


Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. You must wake up with sorrow. You must speak to it till your voice catches the thread of all sorrows and you see the size of the cloth. Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore, [...]