This weekend Ryan had a crazy infection in his right toe. It was puzzling as it developed so quickly and seemed to be severe. I sent a photo on Saturday evening to our pediatrician in Eldoret. She wrote back that she was consulting with a surgeon and infectious doctor to see what we should do next. By Sunday morning, we were meeting with these three specialists – trying to come up with a plan, uncertain of what was causing the swelling, redness, necrotic tissue on my baby’s toe.

I was afraid. I wanted, once more, for him to be okay. There’s been so much in Ryan’s nearly three years of life… We are still trying to heal from it all.

After much consultation, we also met with an entomologist (Yes, we are incredibly blessed to have remarkable friends in all of these areas of specialty to help when needed!). He was pretty convinced Ryan had been bitten by a spider.

As we were driving home from seeing the doctors, we were listening to the song called Goodness of God. The lyrics say:

I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never failed me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
And in darkest night You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God!

I was listening to the words and remembering the truth of how faithful and good God has been to Ryan and to all of us – every day of our lives. The hard has not ever changed this truth. When the song finished, my little boy who speaks so few words said: “Again!” It surprised me as I have never heard him say that word before. I turned to look at Ryan with tears in my eyes and asked him: “again?” This little one who has survived so very much said “yes!”

We listened again. Words declaring the goodness of our God.