Wednesday, December 13th: Ryan was Day +13 post-transplant. Sharon’s cells were beginning to engraft, but it felt more cruel than celebratory. Ryan was in the ICU with multisystem organ failure. His entire body had grown edematous, as his liver enzymes escalated out of control.  Dialysis would begin in the afternoon. By evening, intubation was required as Ryan was too tired to breathe any more on his own. Darkness. Darkness. More darkness.

Few things felt certain, but this I knew to be true: God’s love for Ryan was greater than I could fathom; His goodness was not dependent on how the story would unfold; and there was no promise as to whether Ryan would live or die. On that day, it felt like tears were the only way I could pray. As my mind and heart were reeling, wise words were spoken: don’t get ahead of God.

Wednesday, May 2nd: Geoffrey is Day +13 post-transplant. Sharon’s cell are beginning to engraft. I am witnessing life, once more, returning. G’s counts are rising, indicating that his new cells are starting to rebuild his immune system. While the process is brutal and G is very fragile; to this point, I am deeply grateful that he has been spared from the horrific complications we experienced with Ryan. There are moments of beautiful laughter and play that make my heart to sing.

As I sit with Geoffrey on his Day +13, Ryan’s day is close to mind and heart. Of this I am convinced, God was as faithful then as He is still now.