This journey of transplant has made space for gratitude to grow within me. It has allowed an awareness of the seemingly “ordinary” gifts that I never needed to take notice of before. It has caused me to slow down and ponder many things. While I have questions without answers and a whole mixture of emotions from moment to moment, I am humbled by the process. The ups and downs are often extreme, but the kindness of God (often on display through our community) has been one of many gifts. Here are a few others I feel thankful for…
I am grateful for breath, urine, and platelets. I am thankful for appetite and a tummy that can digest even a few ounces of formula. I am grateful for medications that have helped to sustain Ryan but also amazed on the days when he does not require all of them anymore.
I love the little grey moccasins that hold and protect Ryan’s feet. There were days I didn’t know if he would need shoes again. And now, as more and more life returns, he wants to dance. It makes my heart rejoice.
I am thankful for sleep. There were days and nights when he could not, and the delirium was overwhelmingly scary.
I am in awe of the wonder that fills his spirit. He has caused me to say “wow” a whole lot more than ever before.
Oh, and his hugs and kisses. They are spontaneous and generous.
I love the “roar” sound Ryan makes when mimicking simba, and his laughter is like medicine to my soul. The sound of it. The delight on his face, especially when he is surrounded by his brother and sisters. Oh, the gift it is to have them all under one roof.
I have observed friends posting #staylittle and #slowdown in reference to their kids. While I understand the sentiment, I am so grateful for the possibility of my little one living to grow big. As for the slowing down, I am convinced the responsibility for this is upon me. Oh, that I will be able to notice and receive these gifts, knowing that every good and perfect one of them is from above.