Ryan developed a fever on Sunday. This set off a cascade of events. Another trip to the emergency room. Labs, IVs, pokes, antibiotics and too many interventions to remember or tell. Tears from him. Tears from me. Another admission.

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

I would do almost anything to make his suffering go away. I guess that sums up why our family has moved around the world. We’ve left home, work and family in search of healing for our sweet boys. The process to get it is hard and long. The God, who is with us, is good and loving and kind; of this I am convinced.

The juggling required over the past several days has been more than my mind knows how to make sense of. We are tired but extremely grateful to have access to the treatment Ryan needs and for a community that is standing with us to make it possible. Titus, Linda and I have been shuffling back and forth between hospital, home, and a long list of doctors’ appointments.

Ryan is still in the hospital. He is improving but still needing close observation. There’s waiting and watching as lots of steps have been taken to get him closer to begin the conditioning for transplant.

Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord.

I am convinced this journey, as all of life, is not just about getting to the end. As we wait and ache, we also hope. We cry out to a God who listens well. I pray that we will hear his voice, learn more of his heart and ways. I don’t want to miss the miracles undeservedly gifted to us along the way. I want to lean into the cuddles and receive as well as grow in love.